When a relationship is over

Five Tips for Knowing When a Relationship is OverWhether to walk away from a relationship or whether to stay is one of the hardest decisions we face in life. When you’re in the middle of a passionate relationship with a lot of time and emotions invested,When a relationship is over Articles it’s hard to have perspective. Walking away from a relationship, or admitting that a relationship is really over, is even harder when we’ve poured years of our time, energy, and love into it. Nevertheless, there are certain times when ending a relationship is inevitable.Sometimes we have to end the relationship ourselves. At other times, our significant other may end the relationship. No matter who ends it, at some point we must face the truth: the relationship is over. There’s a right way and a wrong way to go about anything, and that’s never more true than when you’re breaking up. But how do you know when a relationship is really over? When should you tough it out and fight for your love? When should you tell yourself that you did your best, and now you have to let go?No two relationships are ever quite the same, so regardless of what friends and family members may advise, you’re the only one who understands your relationship. Only you can decide what your course of action should be, because you have all the information. That being said, there are certain signs in every relationship to look for that will tell you when your relationship is over.1. Abuse of any kind is a deal-breaker.If your significant other is abusing you – physically or verbally – then it’s time to end the relationship. It’s one thing if your significant other says a few harsh cuckold blog or hurtful words in the heat of the moment; it’s another thing if verbal intimidation, verbal threats or physical violence occur often.Remember, this is a matter of respect. If your partner can’t show you enough respect to avoid hurting you, or if their idea of coping is to hurt their loved ones, no real partnership can exist with this person.Often, abusive partners tell their significant others that no one else would want them. That’s a matter of control, not truth-telling. There’s always someone out there, but if they want you too frightened to leave, they’ll say anything to put fear in your heart: fear of loneliness or fear of retaliation. The abused partner often feels in his or her heart they would never be able to get anyone better. Neither of these two statements is true: love should not include emotional or physical violence. There are people good enough to love you on terms of respect and nurturing, so you can always find someone better than an abuser. A common pattern in abusive relationships goes something like this: there’s a fight, and one partner becomes aggressive to the point of violence (verbal or physical). The abused partner threatens to leave. The abuser then feels ashamed and remorseful, and promises that it will never happen again.At that point, if the abuser doesn’t seek psychological treatment, the abused should leave – period. If the abused does not leave, the cycle is likely to start over again. The abusive partner must show they want to change, or else they fall into the same behavior patterns that has brought them to the point of abuse. If you are the abuser, maybe it’s time to admit you have a problem and seek out help before you lose your significant other for good.2. Are you trying to “save” your significant other?Sometimes, even when a relationship is not explicitly abusive, there is nonetheless an unhealthy pattern of codependency.What is codependency? Codependency is when one significant other passively supports the bad behavior of the other. Psychology refers to the passive partner as an “enabler”, because they enable the negative patterns of their partner. For example, one partner may have a drinking problem, and their significant other constantly makes excuses for them, rather than confronting their partner or helping them seek help.In codependent relationships, the enabler often feels that they can somehow “fix” or “save” their partner. The enabler always “cleans up” after the enabled, taking responsibility for or hiding their partner’s mistakes, rather than encouraging their partner to face their mistakes and change. You think you’re doing them a favor, but in fact, you’re helping to make their problem chronic. Recognizing that your relationship is a codependent one does not necessarily mean that it’s time to end the relationship. Perhaps your partner needs to stop drinking, needs to stop taking advantage of you financially, or needs to end another type of bad behavior that you’ve tacitly allowed for some time. Before ending a codependent relationship, try getting your partner to take responsibility for his or her negative behavior (if you are the enabler).This can be done with a serious heart-to-heart talk. This can be by suggesting counseling or rehab. This can be done with an intervention of all their concerned friends. If you give your partner a chance to change and they don’t seek help or alter their behavior, then it’s time to admit the relationship is over. Remember that you can’t “save”